Why did Christians chose to die?

"My Choice" was a poem by Bill McChesney, American missionary, killed at age 28 in the Congo uprising of 1964. A poem which I had taken out word for word from a book titled,"Making Jesus Lord" by Loren Cunningham. I took the trouble to share the poem as it somehow resembled a comfy life I would like to have for myself one day. Isn't all of us working to achieve some goals in life? The poem speaks to me in many ways...

I came to know Christ when I was 17 years old. Did not identify myself as a Christian simply because I didn't live my life to be worthy to be one. I was still quite the same old me then. After all, I thought I was a okay person. I ain't perfect but surely God will understand. Haha! Who really knows if there is really a God anywae? Who HAS died and resurrected to tell that He really seen God in person. Even if such a person existed, he would probably be dismissed as a nutcase or some religion fanatic!

Some years ago, a friend passed me a book titled "Jesus Freaks". It contained volumes of Christians who were martyred(killed) for their faith in Jesus. Many of them died quite horribly. Their accounts set me thinking. What would you do if someone point a gun to your head, or worse still! Threatened the life of someone you love the most, and forced you to renounce Jesus? Would you renounce Jesus or would you be one of the Jesus Freaks who died for their beliefs?

Through the years I went through several periods of suffering for some silly decisions I made. Everyone make some silly mistakes every now & then. I guess we can learn from the mistakes and avoid making them again!

Since then, I keep asking God what is His will for my life?